Simple Collision 2

I was about two weeks away from doing my way out of doing what I love.

Two weeks away from not loving what I do...

and I love what I do.

This frightening point is one where creativity and inspiration run pale and dry, and once they are gone, passion and drive begin to wilt away as well.

It is a point when every email, complaint, passive comment meets no opposition on its destructive path to your heart.

Call it what you want: burnout, stressed-out, overwhelmed...

When you look out the window to realize all engines are on fire, and your entire life is rapidly losing altitude, it does not matter any longer what term you want to give.

Most of the time you have the capacity to withstand, what in a moment, can become too much.

It is the moment when it all begins to weigh heavily enough to break.

We do everything right, don't we? As good Christians or especially as good pastoral professionals, you know what has to be done. So you do everything right when you begin to see the warning signs.

When you are doing what you love and it begins to press into the overwhelming realm, you know that you need "more time in the Word." You need "more quiet times". So we do all the right things; we get back in the word looking for refreshment, a revival of the heart...we are looking for LIFE.

Day after day you "come to the word" looking for something...for ANYTHING that will inspire, something to "jump off the page" that will in some miraculous act of God's hand will rip you out of impending burnout.

But when you are at a point where inspiration, creativity, life, and passion are gone, you are looking blankly with hope that something...just...happens.

You die...
just a little bit inside.

When I left for vacation last week on a cruise, I was in a drastic search for...something...for anything. I was looking for inspiration. I was looking for my passion. It felt a bit like a drowning man flailing and grasping for anything solid to hold on to. Reaching for something that
just
wasn't
there.

In that search, I sought the right things from the right places. I had determined to read scripture every day of vacation. If I could do that, at least I had a chance to get where I needed to be. At least I would find the life I needed.

On my first day, looking out at the endless horizon and realizing how two opposing worlds (ocean and sky) collide effortlessly in a straight faint line, I realized in John 1:18 how two opposing distances (my tangible life and the Spirit of God) could collide in an effortless and simple moment of the heart.

Suddenly I was a Pharisee being reminded:

"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal LIFE. These are the Scriptures that testify about [Jesus], yet you refuse to come to [JESUS] to have life." (5:39-40)

And in a simple collision of my heart, there was nothing to interrupt or block me. Two worlds met in that moment, and my heart found life.

I took a breathe of life into my heart, lungs, and stomach.

I didn't have to do anything or think of anything.

I only sat and let two worlds come together in a simple collision of creativity, inspiration, intimacy, and life.

For a week...that is all I needed.

I imagine I do not need the open ocean to find that place of heart again.

-------------

LISTENING TO: "The Outsiders" by Needtobreathe

My iPhone's Killing More Than My Sperm: thoughts on creativity

Can you remember a time in your life when you were your most creative? Is there a time when you felt like you had so many ideas bursting from you that they simply had to be enacted or you might explode from the extended capacity? When was that time in your life?

My assumption is that it was a time before increased responsibility and task. It was likely a time when you had more free time than you do now.

There is a reason for that, and it is not so easily chalked up to blaming the responsible life for killing your creativity. You only need to look a bit at the brain and the lifestyle you...we have created.

A study I recently read about showed the brain activity at its most creative moments. The exhaustive information showed that our brain is its most creative in the moments when it is allowed to wonder and wander. Essentially, we are our most creative in daydream mode.

I could leave it all at that if we were not so horrible at doing so. Daydreaming and creativity happens when our brains are truly allowed to disengage to a certain point. The brain has to lose focus and be allowed to wander a bit. That journey is where creativity is its most possible.

The problem for us these days arises in how many things require our focus; things such as television, gaming, even music make our brain focus.

I recently read an article about how the iPhone and other similar technology kill creativity in this way. Those with an iPhone or similar technology know how easy it is to "stay connected" so often throughout the day. There is always something to check, read, watch, listen to...to DO. So many of the things we once blamed "the boob tube" for doing in the evenings are available in our pockets throughout the day now. The iPhone can kill our creativity. (I also recently read that phones in my pockets can effect my potency as a future father, but that's for a different note.)

I have a close friend whose brother did advertising in Chicago, and his company gave him a monthly entertainment stipend to be spent freely on things like music, movies, and games. The company paid for these things because they believed it sparked creativity in their staff. I would say we get a lot of ideas and inspiration from all forms of entertainment, but I would say that the creative movement on that inspiration comes in the moments we allow our brain to just wander a bit.

When we daydream a little more, we find that creative person we thought had been killed by the responsible professional.

-----------------

LISTENING TO: "Hello my name is...EP" by Greek National Road
READING: "Total Church" by Tim Chester

Creativity

Creativity is not inspired by new ideas it is obsessively frustrated with the idea that already exists. -------------- Listening to: "A Hundred Million Suns" by Snow Patrol