Ragamuffin Ramblings

might be moving

2009-11-12T15:42:00.001-08:00

I have been debating back and forth about whether or not to pack up the dusty blog-boxes and move to greener (and cleaner, easier, more accessible) pastures.

I will likely be moving everything to here. Let me know if you would be more likely to read and engage with my blog if it where hosted at wordpress instead of here at blogspot. Of course, most of you read my crap after it transfers itself to facebook anyway, which I will also do in time with the the wordpress account.

Give me your feedback as you would like.

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LISTENING TO: "Over and Underneath" by Tenth Avenue North

next book review...

2009-11-10T13:03:00.001-08:00

The next book for review is on it's way to me right now. It is The Story of Christmas by Gwen Ellis, and it IS a children's book complete with DVD. I'm pretty excited about this! Keep your eyes out for my next Blog Book Review for Thomas Nelson Publishers.

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LISTENING TO: "Over and Underneath" by Tenth Avenue North

You Know What I Mean

2009-11-09T12:04:00.001-08:00

This is a monologue I wrote in 2002. It is fictional to ME but very real to many...

Please feel free to pass it on to as many as you would like.

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LISTENING TO: "Leaving on a Mayday" by Anna Ternheim
READING: "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan

No Allowance for You

2009-11-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

Mom had a different viewpoint on chores than it seemed my friends' parents always had. I was jealous of friends who worked hard every Saturday or other "chore day". They often would not be allowed to hang out until those chores were done, and they never took a short amount of time. But I was not jealous of their chores; I HAD chores. I was jealous of their allowance.

My brothers and I did not receive an allowance for the chores we did around the house growing up. It may have been due to any range of reasons: mom was a single mom of 3 boys and likely didn't make enough to cover bills and a pre-teen payroll. I am sure that may have been a primary reason, but the reason we were given when we DID ask why we couldn't have an allowance was, "You don't do this for money; you do it because you love me."

Naturally, we didn't really understand that until much later.

We learned a valuable lesson through chores growing up. We learned a work ethic that sticks with me today. We learned how to be a part of a family and a household without ever being so bold as to think any member of the family is there to serve ME!

There were a lot of things we learned from this but the strong lesson is one Jesus also tried to teach.

LOVE drives us to act. Acts don't earn love.

Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commands" and that is continually brought up in Jesus' words and teaching. It continues in Paul's teaching as well. The book of Titus has Paul reminding the church and the Judiazers that their great actions do not earn them God's love or salvation. Their actions are proof that they love God. Their actions are proof that they have salvation; not as a means of getting it.

This is the great lesson learned (in retrospect) by doing chores without an allowance.

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LISTENING TO: "Stockholm Syndrome" by Derek Webb
READING: "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan

Stuff Christians Should Stop Saying - Part 1

2009-10-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

I would like to propose a plea be made to eliminate certain words and phrases from our Christian circles. There are various words and phrases, which do to my ears and brain what forks do to microwaves. You know the feeling!

So here begins an ongoing list I intend to keep of words and phrases I'd like to see eliminated from our terminology...please!

"PROBE"
Whether it be the scriptures or the deep recesses of the human heart, we like to probe the depths of it all. Can we please stop probing the scriptures, and can we especially quit probing people. We are not sci-fi aliens from the 70's. We are not qualified medical doctors with the proper equipment to probe anyone. Do not probe this request any further. Let's just not...

"PUTTING SKIN ON JESUS"
Jesus ascended into heaven and left the Holy Spirit for a reason. Jesus is not looking to be grafted into materializing, and if he were, from where would be taking this excess skin to be put onto Jesus? I know what we're all thinking: probably from whichever donor most represents that painting of Jesus we most identify with? That white, flowing brown-haired, blue eyed Jesus? Probably?

Putting skin on Jesus is not only a failure to "hope for what is unseen" but it is a little creepy.

"BIRTHING"
Can we stop birthing new small groups, ideas, visions, and leaders? Any parent who remembers the after-birth realize why we need to stop birthing things. Enough said!

"TOUCH"
In the age of heightened social-awareness, we need no longer touch people and sing of how he touched me. We should really stop trying to create events to touch people. That's all I think I need to say here, but I'm willing to probe it further if need be.

What words and phrases would you like to see removed from our Christian vocabulary?

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LISTENING TO: "Time Without Consequence" by Alexi Murdoch
READING: "Own Your Faith" by Mark Tabb

DISTORTION - God Who Abandons

2009-10-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have been teaching a 6 week series through various distorted images we have of God, while announcing the various topics on facebook and twitter. After announcing the last session's topic (The God Who Abandons), there were several people who wanted to know if they could read it. So...here it is! Keep in mind it is written as a manuscript for speaking...

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DISTORTED IMAGE OF GOD - The God Who Abandons

We are continuing in our “Distortion” series tonight, and the basic understanding behind this series is that we have within each of a gallery of sorts. This gallery within our soul has images, which form a foundation for our relationships, including our relationship with God. They form a foundation for what we end up expecting from those relationships. Images are not abstract ideas. These are pictures…they are powerful combinations of thoughts and feelings, and they profoundly impact our spiritual well being, because we allow a lot of these images to impact our relationship with God and how he is perceived. The problem is that a lot of these images are distorted images we have been given by or relationships with family, friends, Christian leaders, and various other relationships we have. Those distortions, when projected onto God, create a spiritual distress within us. We try as hard as we can to throw scripture at these images in hope that they will stick, but these images are deeper than that. They have formed impressions on our heart, and these images push past verses and words used as quick fixes. You have to REPLACE the distorted image.

READ MOTHER TERESA ARTICLE QUOTES

Can you guess who this is? These are the words of Mother Teresa. A lot of us have felt close to God at one point and then felt completely abandoned the next. For most of us, this is a simple challenge of faith and a point of growth, but there are others of us who have this difficulty because of a distorted image within our soul’s gallery.

Separation, Divorce (parents, or yours), Death, Endless hours your caretakers spent away are all experiences of being abandoned. Essentially, when someone you depended on, anyone you depended on, leaves, we are abandoned. And because what or who we had depended on has been removed, we have lost a sense of security or stability. There is nothing or no one there to rest on, stand on, depend on. This is the image of abandonment.

There is a sense of guilt that comes with this abandonment. When we are abandoned by someone we depended on, we will often conclude it was our fault. We start a lot of our phrases with, “If I had only…” There is this sense of responsibility we have, most of the time, put on ourselves. This generally creates two reactions to this abandonment in our lives. We might become really fearful and worry that other people are going to do the same thing; so we refuse to depend on anyone else. We refuse to trust other people. OR We do everything we can to impress that person who abandoned us. We think maybe, just maybe, if I’m good enough I can keep them around or make them come back.

Like all the other distorted images we have mentioned, we then project that image onto God. All the sudden I can’t trust God or depend on God, because if I trust God he’ll leave me, he’ll abandon me like everyone else. OR I do whatever I can to impress him so he won’t leave me. All the sudden, God becomes a God who abandons, but that is an incredibly distorted image of God.

So we have to see what scripture says about the true Biblical God to the contrast of this distorted image.

TURN TO LUKE 15

You will find that this text could more adequately be titled, “Seeking the Lost”, but we will need to determine what is really lost here. My grandfather was once lost in a bad part of Chicago, and a cop pulled him over. When the cop came to the window, my grandfather explained, “I’m sorry officer. I’m really lost.” The officer responded, “You’re not lost; I know right where you are.”

READ LUKE 15

Now notice that each of these stories has a character, which represents the Biblical God. Each story also has a character or an item representing us as humans. Take notice which character is constantly leaving or abandoning the other.

We expect God to leave these people. We expect God to reject the bad people and accept the good people. We expect it to tell us that the shepherd left the 99, loaded his shot gun, and he found that one dumb sheep, and they had gyros that night to celebrate the fact that the one stupid sheep was gone. We expect the lady to realize she had plenty of cash, and that she didn’t really care about that one coin. We expect the father to say, “What son? You mean the sun that flipped me off, wished he wasn’t my son, and left? I only have one son, the good one, out back working for me.”

We expect these reactions of God because we perceive this world as a good vs bad world. We simply see people as good or bad. We perceive this world on a good/bad matrix, and we are surprised that God does not see things as we do. God sees things on this lost/found or dead/alive matrix. There are none who are so worthless…there are no efforts He won’t use to find you when you are lost. He knows right where you are. He feels the same way you do when you lose something incredibly valuable to you.

Do you see in these stories that God wants a relationship with us? He is aware when this relationship is threatened by our own distorted images of him and his love. God never leaves or abandons us; people leave and abandon us. Not only will God never leaves us, but when WE leave, he will come looking for us until he finds us. God perceives this world and his people as lost or found, dead or alive, and the lost are considered precious.

But the reality is that divorce does happen. Separation does happen. Death does happen. Jobs are lost. Relationships end, and you have a real and present enemy who will do everything to convince and discourage you and make you believe you have been abandoned by God

TURN TO DEUTERONOMY 4

READ DEUTERONOMY 4:29-31

The purpose for us here is to realize that God takes initiative in seeking a relationship with us. God has not and will not abandon you, but again, this understanding will require us to replace the distorted image within our soul’s gallery and that will come with a certain level of healing.

These distorted images of God often represent wounds on our heart, which need time and attention in order to heal. There are no quick fixes here, and we cannot expect quick fixes. This is going to involve a recovery of sorts. The word “recovery” implies that something has gone wrong, and if you have this distorted image of God; if you have a difficult time believing and trusting a God you believe will only abandon you, something HAS gone very wrong. No pathway of recovery from these images is easy or quick. We will have to face some painful truths in order to heal and replace these images, but it IS possible.

Beginning the process will require you to be upfront with God and tell him if you are confused or feeling rejected. Explain to him the difficulties you have in feeling his presence with you or even talking to him at all. Understand this, God is personally invested in replacing those distorted images.

If you have been in the church for long enough, you have likely had Bible verses and Christian clichés thrown at you. It is typical for us to throw verses and clichés at your pain as quick fixes or simple solutions. When you aren’t engaging your heart and soul with these scriptures, they end up becoming barriers rather than resources. Scripture IS a practical and helpful resource when YOU approach it as such. And scripture reminds us of this: God has never left you, people have left you, and

Hosea 11:9 says, “For I am God, and not man.”
Hebrews 13:5 says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

We are not going to heal these images by placing blame on different people either. It will only come by sorting out who God is and who God is not, but allowing scripture to impact those images in our gallery. You cannot do this alone either. Because our distorted images were formed in relationships, it will be in the context of relationships that distortions will heal.

CLOSURE
So you may be honestly asking, “God, are you really faithful?” You may be trying to really believe that God is unchanging and constant, but our world isn’t. Our world can be flipped upside down in a moment. Understand this, when we read that God is faithful, we have to understand that God’s faithfulness is relational. He tells us never will he leave us, never will he abandon us. We can trust that our relationally distorted image is replaced by a relationally faithful God. We are only going to reconnect with God through a change of mind set; a replacement of the distorted image.

So can you picture a God that notices you have been forgotten and abandoned by others? Can you picture a God who is out looking for you? Can you picture him finding you with a face full of joy?

What difference would it make to you in your current struggles, your current loneliness, your current pain to remember that God will never leave you? What difference would it make if you TRULY believed that?

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LISTENING TO: "Into The Blue Again" by Album Leaf
READING: "Own Your Faith" by Tabb

Music Post (feedback much appreciated)

2009-10-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

I have two ongoing lists on my phone. Their contents ebb and flow. Some days I take items away and others I add many items. They are my music lists. Here are my two lists as they stand today. Give me your feedback as you wish.

MUSIC I WANT TO TRY:
Unwed Sailor
David Bazan (new album)
Dagha
Timmy Curran
The Drawing Room
Zach Williams
Josh Garrels
Paper Route (new album)
The Hello Sequence
Swell Season (new album)
Eric Peters
Sleeping At Last
Lesser Birds of Paradise
Shad
Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson
Telekinesis
Mayer Hawthorne
Thad Cockrell
Flight of the Conchords (new album)
Arctic Monkeys (I keep giving them a shot but they haven't impressed)
Parachute
Whitley
Mission to the Sea

MUSIC I INTEND TO BUY:
David Crowder Band (Church Music)
Heath McNease
David Bazan

Any artists I should add to the TRY list? Artists I should move to the BUY list? Any artists I may as well remove?

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LISTENING TO: "Simple Times" by Joshua Radin
READING: "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

PREACH!

2009-10-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

Search for God and Guinness by Stephen Mansfield

2009-10-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

Reading this review reveals you already have some interest in the topic of this book. To ask that you not write this book off too soon would be misguided at best. You are likely as interested as I was when I first saw the title. “God and Guinness? Two of my favorite things? Sign me up!”

Stephen Mansfield begins the book with a dazzling overview through the history of beer, and it does great justice to highlighting what lead to the stringent prohibition that extends into the mindset of so many Christians even today. The mindset came after years of beer seen not only as acceptable but beneficial.

With the first chapter precursor out the way, Mansfield dives into the history of the Guinness brand we all recognize beginning with Arthur Guinness 250 years ago. Revealed in these pages is a family line of brilliant brewers who continually changed the way things were always done. Through countless challenges, the brand would endure with more than, but still including a drive for excellence, innovation, expansion, and mastery.

More important than all these is the silver thread weaving its way throughout. Deep in the heart of its original founder, Arthur, is a heart for their God which would kindle each generation to follow. Mansfield reveals lines of Guinnesses you likely have never seen who were renowned men of faith.

This foundational faith of the Guinness family line necessarily created stories of benevolence, compassion, and social justice, which would be groundbreaking even today. You will find stories of revitalization of whole cities and countries brought about by the Guinness brand and family because they could not avoid the call of their God on their lives.

Mansfield is an able historian, and if you are like me the history will weigh on your attention from time to time. If you have a love for beer or God, you may have to challenge yourself to endure through your own judgments. But if you have a love for both God and beer, this book will leave you craving a world changing conversation with friends over a pint of the saintly stout.

Something new

2009-10-17T07:26:00.001-07:00

I am trying a new blog editor for iPhone but I have yet to find one I like. So we will just have to see whether or not this will be one I keep. Do you have any you would recommend...particularly if you also use blogger? I finished reading "Search for God and Guinness" yesterday and I'm working on a review. I'll keep you posted. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stavesacre Soothes

2009-10-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

If one album were a salve for the hurting heart, I submit it might be "Speakeasy" by Stavesacre.

In preparing for FUSION this week, I have been spending the week in Psalm 13. At one moment, I was stricken with the comparison of one song by Stavesacre and its connection to Psalm 13. Take a look at the connection.

PSALM 13
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

FREEFALL (Hand to Hand) by Stavesacre

Sleepless eyes open wide. Before Heaven I stand again
If there's no winning this war tonight, I was wondering

If you could steady my spinning head.

And trusting gets harder now
I wish you were here beside me
My failures, my fears and doubts have been haunting me
I'm just not who I thought I'd be

Freefall weightless and terrified
On I go crossing over from living to so alive
And purified I know weeping is cast for the night

And joy...

Thought I was a good man and fell short of my standards
Now what am I left with. All of nothing
And my first taste of freedom

Freefall weightless and terrified
On I go crossing over from living to so alive
And purified. I know weeping is cast for the night
And joy...

If I fall down
If I fail you
When I fall down
When I fail you
I hope to find you there
I hope to find you there
I know I'll find you there
I've always found you there

Freefall weightless and terrified
On I go crossing over from living to so alive
And purified I know weeping is cast for the night
But joy comes in the morning.

Coffee House Empires (Blog Archive)

2009-10-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

* This was blog archive day for me. I may do this from time to time. I blogged for years at xanga before coming over here, and there are times I go back and read old entries. I twitter exchange I had today with @HopeNoelle12 reminded me of this old entry.

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Two empires collided this day in a Sacramento coffee shop. It was the empire of the old meeting with that of the new, and it came and went in a matter of moments you may have missed if you had been here.

This aforementioned shop has always contained various characters behind its counter. Each is identified and nearly titled by his or her own various strong characteristics.

“Armpit-hair and Nose Ring Girl”

“Pretentious Man-prees Guy”

“Bushy Beard Guy”

“Looks Like A Guy I Know Girl”

“Roller Derby Girl”

Those are only the workers within. The patrons bring their own setting contribution.

“White Pants And Loafers Guy”

“Really Tall Guy”

“Ass-less Pants Guy”

“Sling” (A super hero in his own right, thus warranting his own one word name)

These are only those this writer can remember in this moment. There once was the most bazaar of all. The bazaar has a way of becoming the majority so that the normal becomes bazaar. This was the fate of Normal Girl who once worked behind the counters of this shop. Normal Girl stuck out among the bazaar only because she was normal. Her normality was as intriguing as it was refreshing among the normally bazaar. Not a hipster! Not an 80’s throwback! Not…nothing! Normal!

Normal girl has not been around these parts for many months. She left unannounced to many, never to return. Like a fast acting vacuum sucked the refreshing normality from the otherwise douche bag infestation, Normal Girl was gone! Forgotten lest in tall tales such as this.

Today, a revisit to the shop reveals something quite wonderful. They say history has a funny way of repeating itself. They say empires come and go, and it has been possible that they may also come again. What have your eyes beheld!? Could it possibly be…… Normal Girl Part 2!?

One can only sit concealed behind his coffee in wonder that the rise of Normal Girl may have come at last. Not the same Normal Girl; it is Normal Girl 2. What planets have aligned to bring this about? What great gods have shown their favor upon the bazaar little coffee shop in Sacramento? No one knows; nor do they need to.

But readers be braced! For this is not the collision originally spoken of.

As one did sit in amazement for nearly 2 hours at the arrival of Normal Girl 2, the door squealed open to usher in a light breeze and then an impending second time when everything seemed to be still and almost eerie. No way is this happening! The breeze was the precursor to the collision. It is Normal Girl….1!

It is the collision of the Normal Girl empires. Overtly familiar with her surroundings, Normal Girl 1 enters with greetings for the bazaar who have always been (today it is Looks Like A Guy I Know Girl). She is familiar with all but one element, but it is much larger than an element. It is a force! It is a cosmic coming of events! It is Normal Girl 2: the new empire of Normal Girl in the wake of the forgotten first empire now revealed once more.

The two empires meet at the counter, and this writer is strangely surprised everyone else can drink coffee, can work on a computer, can read a book, can sit slouched and indifferent on an old dirty couch…can do ANYTHING else but watch and wonder. What will happen? Will there be fallout? What danger awaits?

Turns out not much! Cordial greetings are exchanged, Normal Girl 1 leaves in a matter of moments, and the new empire remains. Normal Girl 2 is here to stay, and the original remains a tale of bygone days.

And NOW Sling arrives having missed it all…some super hero!

* Soundtrack to this event provided by Sigur Ros

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READING: "The Search for God and Guinness" by Stephen Mansfield

Scenes of Hope: you choose

2009-10-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

Two scenes: both rainy: Downpour!

Scene One:
Once the rain begins, the two characters look for shelter; for refuge from the storm. There has to be somewhere to take cover while it passes over. Though the rain continues; they seek out and find a dry spot to post up while the rain runs its course.

Scene Two:
One character, for reasons we do not understand, walks to the window-front but stands in the rain; deadpan and miserable. He seeks no refuge or dry spot, but sits in the rain complaining about how wet he continues to get.

Once character chooses hope, the other despair.

Life will bring storms. It is a fact you can count on. It is a reality in which you have no choice. Your only choice is whether you choose refuge or misery.

Psalm 11:1 says God is our refuge; our shelter in the storm.

Though the storm is inevitable; our choices are not.

Will you choose hope or despair?

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LISTENING TO: "Your Hands" by JJ Heller

Words to God

2009-10-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

"Our thoughts are words to God."
-Matthew Henry

I once preached a sermon in a series about the various distorted images we have of God. It was intended to recognize the images we have of God that we create out of our experiences, relationships, and circumstances instead of the true images of God we see in Scripture. Once you recognize them, you can replace them with truth.

This particular night I was revealing the distorted image of the 'disinterested God'. We took a look at those distortions that make us doubt God, in his immense realities, could actually be interested in me personally, intimately, and truthfully.

We looked at the true image of God who knows me far more than I could imagine. This is a God who is Immanuel, God with us. This is the God who knows when I sit and when I rise. The true God is one who knows my deepest thoughts, desires, and imaginations. (Psalm 139)

At this point, a strong quote by Matthew Henry came to the forefront.

"Our thoughts are words to God."

It was a beautiful answer to those of us who may struggle from time to time with a distorted image in our heart of a God who is aloof or disinterested in my tiny individual life. To someone who struggles to pray to an immense God, this quote sooths the soul a bit and frees the heart a lot more to rest in prayer.

On the way home, Tonya shared with me the shadow of the quote. She was challenged to recognize how scary it can be when we really think about the thoughts we commonly have. There are a lot of thoughts we have in the course of a day we certainly would not want God to hear or know.

If our thoughts are words to God, there is a risk to that, of course, but I would say with risks included, it STILL means our God is close. Even if it must include all our thoughts, it still means God is interested in you personally and intimately.

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LISTENING TO: Monsters of Folk "Self-titled"

Challenge

2009-10-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

Few phrases make a pastor cringe and fight the urge to cup their hands over their ears in a childish I-can't-hear-you motion. Some of these include:
"I'm not being fed here."
"Where is MY tithe being used?"
"We've never done it that way before."
"How far is 'too far'?"
"Was that you at the pub Friday night?"

One statement which has not particularly made me cringe but has had me really searching and thinking lately is the idea of "being challenged".

We like to say there are churches we don't go to because we aren't challenged.

We go to churches because we are challenged.

We want to listen to podcasts from speakers who challenge us and avoid books by authors who don't challenge us.

We say that we want to be challenged, but that is not true.

We say we want to go to places and people who can challenge us, but we lie.

Granted, we lie because we have re-defined (falsely) what "challenge" actually means. When we say want to be challenged, we mean we want someone to blow our minds. We want someone to communicate something in a way we have never thought about it before. We want to think of things more loftily than we had before.

We want to read books that really make us think, and in so doing, make us learn a lot.

We want these things, and we call it challenge, but we have misunderstood and forgotten the primary element to challenge.

Action!
Movement!
Application!

Challenge is a call to engage and change.

We do not want to be challenged. We want to learn more, maybe. We want to know more information, perhaps. We want to answer more questions correctly than someone else, probably.

But very few really want to be challenged, because being challenged means being called to engage and change. Very few of us want to change anything as most of us are too comfortable to engage.

Challenge has to do with whether or not you want to engage something enough to enact change in the way you live, act, or do. Challenge has to do with whether or not what you are reading, hearing, studying, or interacting with engages you to act.

Will my life be different? Will I live differently or am I just waiting for you to blow my mind?

Do I really want to be challenged, or do I really want to know more information than you?

I think of books we commonly call 'challenging' by guys like C.S. Lewis, NT Wright, Bonhoeffer, and I wonder if any of them, as brilliant as they may be, actually engaged me enough to change, act, and live differently.

I think of books by people like Shane Claiborne, SD Gordon, and Francis Chan; books I could read in a day or two but I was engaged to see choices I needed to make to really be more like Jesus.

I think of podcasts I've listened to that I once thought were great challenging sermons, but I cannot remember many that really rocked my life in a way which made me say, "I need to change some things."

The most challenging speakers, writers, and pastors are not necessarily the most profound.

This is because it is not their role to be challenging. It is not up to THEM for YOU to be challenged.

Being challenged is up to YOU! When presented with something, no matter how simple the presentation, its up to YOU to determine whether you will engage and change.

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READING: "The Search for God and Guinness" by Stephen Mansfield
LISTENING TO: "No One's First and You're Next" by Modest Mouse

Sermon prep

2009-09-30T15:28:00.000-07:00

I thought I would at least put up a little glimpse into my sermon prep world for most weeks of the year. To some this is a picture of happiness and still for others it is torture. I, of course, fall into the former. (good thing, huh?)

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LISTENING TO: Joshua Radin

A Million Miles

2009-09-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I finished reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller. It is certainly my favorite Don Miller book thus far. It was one of the most inspiring and infectious books I've read since I read "The Artist's Way" several months ago.

A Million Miles inspires to live a better story. In a world and time when we commonly hear and say how meaningless life is, it may be possible LIFE is not meaningless; maybe YOUR life is meaningless. That comes with a challenge to live differently; to create a better story with more meaning.

There is an art to writing and telling a story, and many of those elements serve to LIVE a better story. With an infectious honesty Miller inspires you to live a better story.

I agree with Max Lucado's review:

"I already want to re-read this book."

Book went on shelves yesterday. Go get it!

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LISTENING TO: "Armistice" by MUTEMATH

A Pastor's Prayer

2009-09-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

As a pastor, my prayer today (and should be each day) is from Psalm 69:6

May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
May those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel.

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READING: "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Don Miller
LISTENING TO: "Oh My God, Charlie Darwin" by Low Anthem

First book on its way

2009-09-25T11:06:00.001-07:00

My first book to review is in the mail. I am not entirely sure the title could be any more perfect. Are you serious!?

More information @

http://bit.ly/X0XDl

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LISTENING TO: "How The Day Sounds" by Greg Laswell

I became a critic today

2009-09-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Today, I applied to be a book review blogger. The benefits for myself are free copies of yet to be published books I can read and then review right here on Ragamuffin Ramblings

I am perhaps too excited about this possibility. I have been less nervous for an impending job offer than I am right now awaiting the reply from Thomas Nelson to let me know if they will accept my application as a book reviewer.

Keep your eye out right here as I will possibly begin reviewing soon to be released books for you.

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LISTENING TO: "Oh My God, Charlie Darwin" by Low Anthem
READING: "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Simple Collision 2

2009-09-24T10:56:00.001-07:00

I was about two weeks away from doing my way out of doing what I love.

Two weeks away from not loving what I do...

and I love what I do.

This frightening point is one where creativity and inspiration run pale and dry, and once they are gone, passion and drive begin to wilt away as well.

It is a point when every email, complaint, passive comment meets no opposition on its destructive path to your heart.

Call it what you want: burnout, stressed-out, overwhelmed...

When you look out the window to realize all engines are on fire, and your entire life is rapidly losing altitude, it does not matter any longer what term you want to give.

Most of the time you have the capacity to withstand, what in a moment, can become too much.

It is the moment when it all begins to weigh heavily enough to break.

We do everything right, don't we? As good Christians or especially as good pastoral professionals, you know what has to be done. So you do everything right when you begin to see the warning signs.

When you are doing what you love and it begins to press into the overwhelming realm, you know that you need "more time in the Word." You need "more quiet times". So we do all the right things; we get back in the word looking for refreshment, a revival of the heart...we are looking for LIFE.

Day after day you "come to the word" looking for something...for ANYTHING that will inspire, something to "jump off the page" that will in some miraculous act of God's hand will rip you out of impending burnout.

But when you are at a point where inspiration, creativity, life, and passion are gone, you are looking blankly with hope that something...just...happens.

You die...
just a little bit inside.

When I left for vacation last week on a cruise, I was in a drastic search for...something...for anything. I was looking for inspiration. I was looking for my passion. It felt a bit like a drowning man flailing and grasping for anything solid to hold on to. Reaching for something that
just
wasn't
there.

In that search, I sought the right things from the right places. I had determined to read scripture every day of vacation. If I could do that, at least I had a chance to get where I needed to be. At least I would find the life I needed.

On my first day, looking out at the endless horizon and realizing how two opposing worlds (ocean and sky) collide effortlessly in a straight faint line, I realized in John 1:18 how two opposing distances (my tangible life and the Spirit of God) could collide in an effortless and simple moment of the heart.

Suddenly I was a Pharisee being reminded:

"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal LIFE. These are the Scriptures that testify about [Jesus], yet you refuse to come to [JESUS] to have life." (5:39-40)

And in a simple collision of my heart, there was nothing to interrupt or block me. Two worlds met in that moment, and my heart found life.

I took a breathe of life into my heart, lungs, and stomach.

I didn't have to do anything or think of anything.

I only sat and let two worlds come together in a simple collision of creativity, inspiration, intimacy, and life.

For a week...that is all I needed.

I imagine I do not need the open ocean to find that place of heart again.

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LISTENING TO: "The Outsiders" by Needtobreathe

Simple Collision

2009-09-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

[journal entry from 9.14.00]

My God, My Inspiration, My Artist and Creator:

On the deck of this cruise ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean I am present only to think of you and KNOW you in this moment. Though I cannot see you, I can KNOW you. Like John writes in the first chapter (1:18), no one has ever SEEN you, but because of Jesus you can be KNOWN. Because of your Spirit and mine, you can be KNOWN.

I am here at this moment, looking out at an endless horizon where two expansive worlds (water and sky) collide in a simple straight line and I am amazed at how two expansive opposing worlds of my natural, tangible life and your Spirit can collide in such a simple connection of the heart.

I am here at this moment, and it is intended for nothing else but to know you. There is nothing in the way. There is nothing to interrupt the connection of my heart to yours. This moment is only for this. I want to know though I cannot see you.

I am here at this moment just to know you.

Proverbs 2

2009-08-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

IF you indeed cry out for insight
IF you raise your voice for understanding
IF you seek it like silver

THEN you will understand the fear of the LORD
THEN you will find the knowledge of God
THEN you will understand righteousness and justice
THEN wisdom will come to your heart
THEN prudence will watch over you
THEN understanding will come to you
THEN it will save you from the way of evil
THEN you will be saved from those who speak evil against you
THEN you will be saved from the smooth words that tempt you away

How many THENS await just a few IFS!!!

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LISTENING TO: Asa [Self-titled]

Belittled

2009-08-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

Almighty God!
The never started, never ending!
The realities of you, when I attempt a thought, only dwarf
how pale it is.
I am so far removed from the full understanding of you,
there is no reason to me attempting,
as some are in the habit of doing.

Nonsense!

Yet you love me!
Further nonsense!

Brilliant minds, which only make mine laughable
can contain information of the sun that serves
to belittle my existence.

tiny

What little knowledge I have of the sun,
makes me feel small, and it is only the first belittlement.

How do you love me?

These thoughts are far.... beyond
me
I cannot touch or grasp them.
You obliterate my ability
to describe or explain with any creative genius
I don't even have.

Yet you recognize me
out of eternity you meet me right
now
here

now
you are with me as I was born

now
you are with me when I flat-line.

now
you recognize and love me.

How is it that you care for me?
Are you crazy?

My heart whispers, it is all it can gather,
amazed that you could hear it at all.

My heart whispers,
Papa God, I love you,

too.

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LISTENING TO: "The Silver Cord" by Classic Crime
READING: "Angry Conversations with God" by Susan Isaacs

My iPhone's Killing More Than My Sperm: thoughts on creativity

2009-07-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

Can you remember a time in your life when you were your most creative? Is there a time when you felt like you had so many ideas bursting from you that they simply had to be enacted or you might explode from the extended capacity? When was that time in your life?

My assumption is that it was a time before increased responsibility and task. It was likely a time when you had more free time than you do now.

There is a reason for that, and it is not so easily chalked up to blaming the responsible life for killing your creativity. You only need to look a bit at the brain and the lifestyle you...we have created.

A study I recently read about showed the brain activity at its most creative moments. The exhaustive information showed that our brain is its most creative in the moments when it is allowed to wonder and wander. Essentially, we are our most creative in daydream mode.

I could leave it all at that if we were not so horrible at doing so. Daydreaming and creativity happens when our brains are truly allowed to disengage to a certain point. The brain has to lose focus and be allowed to wander a bit. That journey is where creativity is its most possible.

The problem for us these days arises in how many things require our focus; things such as television, gaming, even music make our brain focus.

I recently read an article about how the iPhone and other similar technology kill creativity in this way. Those with an iPhone or similar technology know how easy it is to "stay connected" so often throughout the day. There is always something to check, read, watch, listen to...to DO. So many of the things we once blamed "the boob tube" for doing in the evenings are available in our pockets throughout the day now. The iPhone can kill our creativity. (I also recently read that phones in my pockets can effect my potency as a future father, but that's for a different note.)

I have a close friend whose brother did advertising in Chicago, and his company gave him a monthly entertainment stipend to be spent freely on things like music, movies, and games. The company paid for these things because they believed it sparked creativity in their staff. I would say we get a lot of ideas and inspiration from all forms of entertainment, but I would say that the creative movement on that inspiration comes in the moments we allow our brain to just wander a bit.

When we daydream a little more, we find that creative person we thought had been killed by the responsible professional.

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LISTENING TO: "Hello my name is...EP" by Greek National Road
READING: "Total Church" by Tim Chester

Heaven without Jesus?

2009-07-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

How many of us wish we could actually be with God each day? How many of us would like to be with Jesus each day? We all try to have quiet times to do just that, but I wonder how many of us would have a sense that we really met with God in those moments we spend during a "quiet time". I have had that sense before, but it is hardly every day when I sit down for those moments.

It has me curious as to whether there are other significant ways to meet with Jesus each day. The easy answer is "yes", but the more difficult answers are to the question of, "How then?" What are those OTHER ways I can truly be with Jesus; a way that I can sense his love, person, and heart?

The first prerequisite question is, "Is Jesus himself the gift I am looking for?" What I am I hoping for when I come to meet with Jesus? Is it simply Jesus I desire, or is it his answer to my questions? Is it his provision for my needs? Is the gift I seek his heart salve for the places I hurt, or is it simply JESUS I crave? If I got to heaven, with all the great things like no more suffering, no more weeping, total healing, eternal reconnection with all the loved ones I could imagine, but Jesus was not there, would my heart break? Would I still want heaven? Is Jesus what I desire each day when I come to meet with him, or am I really looking for some byproduct of the relationship with him?

So assuming I want to be with Jesus, what ways can I do that?

Well I know Jesus told us, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me." He told us that when we serve other people, we were doing those things for him. In order to do something for someone, it is to say that person is there. It is to say that when I listen to someone, serve someone, help someone, Jesus is there. I meet him there.

When we serve, we are given the greatest gift possible at that exact moment. We are given Jesus. He is there. He is present. We can be with Jesus, and if THAT is my greatest gift, I would serve more people.

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READING: "The Great Good Place" by Ray Oldenburg

Coffee Shop

2009-07-15T11:02:00.001-07:00

Brought my heart in to the shop
having run dry and cracked.
Took my mind in to the shop
having smelled smoke from the burn out.

Having changed and filled the caffeinated
social lubricant,
the heart reacts more fluidly
the mind is sparked and turns over.

Took myself in to the shop
having needed a social lube change.

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LISTENING TO: "9" by Damien Rice

Fight?

2009-07-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

Few things anger me. I am annoyed intensely by a lot of things; things such as the Lakers, bad beer or coffee, Terrel Owens, Mary Murphy, use of the NON-word "irregardless", and USC; just to name a few from my very long list of intensely annoying things.

I am not an angry person as there really are only a few things which anger me. I can only think of a few right now. Poverty, oppression, unloving Christians and their 'evangelism', and maybe the Lakers!

Poverty and oppression are growing more and more rampant in our world and country, especially in a world with things like dying economies, human trafficking, and a cultural battle between the church and LGBT communities in which each side sees the other as sub-human, or at least treats each other as such.

I see these very few things becoming more and more prevalent in our world and our country, and I wonder what I am to do.

Psalm 82:3-4 says, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

I read those things and I prayed this morning, (in a fashion I do most mornings, afternoons, and evenings), "God, show me how to love you and love people." I am learning to trust that God will show me how to love more if I desire it from him.

To serve the poor, I am trying to sacrifice all I have. I am beginning the 7th month of a commitment not to purchase any of my clothes first hand unless I KNOW where and how those clothes were made. I make those sorts of decisions and then read 1 Cor. 13:3.

"If I give all I possess to the poor...but have not love, I gain nothing."

I make as many decisions as I can to be one who serves and fights for what is right, but then I read that and wonder if all is for not if I have not truly done it with great love. Do I do these things for the fight or for the love?

An old grandmother once said, "No one ever wins a fight." I think that is what Jesus meant when he said in Matthew 5, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute." This is not pacifism! Just before he said that, Jesus said, "Do not resist an evil person."

When we are angered by things, we want to fight. Jesus tells us to love and pray and be moved with compassion to act, but he never told us to fight.

We fight for things like "honor", but sometimes I wonder if our "honor" is sometimes really pride, fear, or hate that we have called honor.

No one ever wins a fight; but love conquers all.

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LISTENING TO: "9" by Damien Rice and "Sounds Like This" by Eric Hutchinson

The only people for me...

2009-07-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

- Jack Kerouac

Refreshing...

2009-06-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

After speaking from Matthew 6 about worry last Sunday, a newer student came up to me and said,

"I like what you had to say tonight. That's totally where I am right now; you know, with all the worry bullshit?"

How many pastors realize how refreshing it was to hear that?

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LISTENING TO: "Absolutes" by Barcelona

Evangelism:

2009-06-23T15:15:00.001-07:00

When asked what evangelism is, two Compassion International field staff members said this:

"The true way to evangelize someone is simply to act in a way that causes them to ask, 'Why do you care?' This is what we do."

Simple. Brilliant.

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LISTENING TO: "Mean Everything to Nothing" by Manchester Orchestra

Network vs Neighborhoods: Part 2

2009-06-18T10:05:00.000-07:00

Starbucks was created with the intention of becoming "the third place". This is a term made common by many sociologist circles, which says people commonly exist at home and work, and we all need a third place where we escape and socialize for socialization's sake. A place where we have more informal public existence! Most non-American cultures have some third place as a common staple to their culture.

There are a variety of reasons these third places are so attractive and beneficial. One of which is their ability to equalize, to level, to bring together those who would not normally do so.

This speaks to a tendency our culture does have toward networks rather than neighborhoods. Neighborhoods are increasingly exclusive, and on a very small level networks have the potential not to be so exclusive.

Of course, by "network", I mean those realms and places we exist most outside of home and work (coffee shops, bars, cafes, etc.)...these are our "third places". Some of these places (far from all) are places exempt of pretense and comparisons. They are havens from the divisions we place on ourselves outside of them.

At this moment, I am at my coffee shop and I see a doctor working next to a dirty hipster, who is next to a man with ragged clothes and an unkempt beard. Its like a living timeline of American success or importance on one couch. This is the allure of our networks.

If even for a matter of moments, status is put on hold and comparisons at an impasse.

For those literate to Christian lingo, this is fellowship.

These networks are where the mighty descend and the lowly rise. That leveled-out place is a stress killer for everyone.

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LISTENING TO: "The End Is Not The End" by House of Heroes

New Sermon Audio

2009-06-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, we closed out the "DISTORTION" series at FUSION. The audio of that series is not up on our website if you are interested in hearing any of those.

You can find that audio HERE

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LISTENING TO: "Gone Fishing" by The Cool Kids

City Council prayer (w/out "Jesus")

2009-06-01T19:28:00.000-07:00

Almighty God, our Father,

Tonight, we thank you for being the God you are. You are bigger, wiser, and far more merciful than we are. Your love and compassion are far beyond our own, and for that reason, we can only aspire to reflect You here and now.

We ask that you bless our city and community. We trust you; help us where we do not trust you. May we see the best way to love You and love people with our actions, our leadership, and our lives. Help us see the best way to serve and share in the common good that YOU intended and designed. May each citizen of our city see and recognize new ways to contribute to a healthy and peaceful community.

Please give to the Council wisdom to lead with humility and to make integral decisions most people would not envy. Bless them with wisdom to lead our city with compassion, generosity, and integrity.

Tonight I ask that you meet us here and hear our prayer. I ask this in the name of One who has ruined me for the normal and comfortable, but changes my life for the better forever.

Amen

Hated Hateful Christians

2009-05-27T16:31:00.001-07:00

Sitting over coffee with one of my student leaders was suddenly interrupted by an escalation...a very sudden escalation at the tables near us. At one table sat 2 young women and a bald man with a Bible. At the other sits a middle-aged man with a mustache and a newspaper. All of them smoking cigarettes!

After overhearing a few comments made by bald Christian guy, mustache guy speaks up with intention. I don't hear the pricking comment into the small group's Bible study, but it is evident the comment was not a pleased one. It certainly was not inquisitive or yearning in nature. In a matter of moments, everything blew way the hell up.

The mustached man mentioned how much the Christian man hated him because he was gay. Christian bald guy tried to explain calmly that he did not, but gay mustached guy went on to tell bald guy what bald guy believed.

It hadn't taken long for me to realize this conversation is going nowhere; especially nowhere good.

It didn't.

All I was able to realize was that we have set a precedent for ourselves. Whether we believe any certain thing about gay marriage, prop 8, or homosexuality, none of it matters because we've already set for ourselves a precursory foundation of hate that we'll have a hard time ever replacing. (if we ever can)

Understanding that this situation began with a verbal attack on an unsuspecting Christian bald guy, I still wonder how that same conversation would have gone down if Christian bald guy and gay mustache guy had built a respectful friendship first.

What if gay mustache guy was friends with quiet college pastor guy in the corner?

How would that conversation have played out differently?

My hope is that....

My regret is that I will not ever know.

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LISTENING TO: "It's All Crazy! Its All False! It's All a Dream! Its Alright" by Mewithoutyou

Networks vs Neighborhoods

2009-05-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

On many levels, the American Church is moving to the way of the "house church", and it has a great momentum to reach many people. We are seeing many Christians learn what it might look like to be followers of Christ as they love and serve their neighborhoods. We are seeing more and more large churches OF small groups instead of churches WITH small groups.

The outreach of the church is now being put in the hands of the church as opposed to the church leaders alone. Smaller groups and house churches are turning their eyes and hearts toward their neighborhoods in order to learn what the incarnational gospel might yield in comparison to the attraction gospel that has been the primary model utilized by the American Church to this point.

While this excites me to see where the American Church is moving the gospel, I fear it STILL misses the mark in reaching a college and young adult population. The move into neighborhoods will certainly serve to reach a postmodern, post-Christian society and culture, but let's not forget that post modernity and post-Christianity is NOT a generation.

This means while college students and young adults most often fall into the postmodern, post-Christian mindset, to reach a demographic I love and my heart breaks for, there is yet another reality to be mindful of.

College students and most young adults don't really have neighborhoods they live in for long. This is a pretty transient period of life where they live in different homes from month to month. This is a time of life lived in semesters as opposed to years. The rest of life is lived outside the house elsewhere. Home is where the couch is!

The sense of neighborhood is lost on the college student and young adult. So a house church mentality works well if your population has a house or spends any significant time in the house they have.

Now again, I love the house church model, and I think the American Church needs to continue moving in that direction for sure, bu my question, as a college pastor, is how do you move this model for a demographic without neighborhoods?

The answer lies in what college students and young adults DO have. Networks!

Thought the idea of a neighborhood may be lost, there is a strong sense of network in this demographic. We still frequent different areas such as coffee shops, bars, campuses, and clubs. These places have become different networks each person is connected to.

When you frequent those places, you become 'a regular'. Once I became a regular at Tupelo Coffee House, I started to recognize the other regulars. Once I began to recognize the other regulars, I began to notice them outside the coffee shop in other networks I am connected to. I recently recognized a Tupelo barista when I was walking around the monthly art walk downtown.

The whole interest of our networks is watching them overlap. "I didn't know you came here to this coffee shop!"

In order to begin really reaching the college and young adult population, we need to move from the neighborhoods to the networks. House churches need to be in coffee shops and bars and clubs and various other networks.

In a generation that has not yet settled down into neighborhoods, you have to be a neighbor in their networks.

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READING: "The Tangible Kingdom" by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay
LISTENING TO: "Sounds Like This" by Eric Hutchinson

I believe; help my unbelief

2009-05-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

Mark 9:24, "I believe; help my unbelief" is one of my favorite verses in all of scripture, because it is so often the cry of my heart. My mind and my heart resonate with this verse more than it does with other verses in all of scripture. I am always in a state of belief, and yet I am frequently in need of help for my unbelief.

Like the disciples in this story, I struggle to pray with enough fervency to claim I am a man of real belief and faith. I struggle to pray for myself or others because a large part me wonders, "What if God does not do those things for this person?" Would it be because I had not prayed with enough faith? Would it be because it was not in God's plan for those things to happen, and I should chalk it up to "questions I was never intended to know the answers to, because God is simply bigger than me"? Then I wonder why you pray with such fervency other than 'because Jesus has commanded us to'.

But I know full well my faith is weak in moments. Because there are other moments when prayer comes naturally. There are moments when I have such a clear glimpse of God, that I hold on to it and squeeze every bit of life out of that moment I can. I need it to last as long as possible because I will drown in my own thoughts and wonder again at some point.

So to hear this man's plea with Jesus in Mark 9, "I believe; help my unbelief" is refreshing and affirming. It is affirming that this pleas is granted and answered. It is affirming that even his admitting a level of unbelief is more important and honorable to Jesus than when you simply don't get it but pretend that you do. Those are the ones who are 'this faithless generation' (vs. 19). Those are the ones who irritate Jesus for their lack of faith.

But you see Jesus meet this person, this father, when he simply admits he does have faith; help me in my lack of faith. Jesus meets you in the honesty.

Sometimes we only need to pray and continue to pray to the God we only half believe in, and he will meet us tenderly in return...OR...we could remain a faithless generation that pretends we have all the faith in the world but see no fruit of it.

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LISTENING TO: "How The Day Sounds" by Greg Laswell

Dr Horrible

2009-05-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

I'm a little bit addicted to this, and I haven't even seen that much of it yet.

Answers to Questions Nobody's Asking

2009-05-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

A podcast I listen to regularly (This American Life) recently told the story of a Texas football coach who encouraged all the parents and fans of his team to cheer for the other team. I originally thought it was going to be some monumental coaching move that would eventually amp up his own players to play harder in order to spite the sudden loss of support from their own family and friends.

But I was mistaken. This team was a Christian high school in Texas, an the other team was a local delinquent school of boys with no family life, let alone fans. So this coach asked all the parents, fans, and cheerleaders to learn the names of the opposing players and cheer them on to victory; something those boys had never known the feeling of.

This coach would quickly know national recognition. All over ESPN! The NFL Commissioner made the coach his personal guest at the Super Bowl. In all the recognition came 100's of emails and letters to the coach, but he would admit only one of them would grab his attention. A lady who is on the radio show tells her own story of seeing all the recognition of this coach and she had to email him.

She writes to him of how she is an agnostic and has rarely seen true examples of Christian love and message, but his example gives her hope that it exists. She was also very glad to see such a great model of God's love for young people.

They began a correspondence through email which shortly leads to a phone conversation that gets recorded for the radio show.

One thing to know is that a very close friend of hers had died of cancer, and she had a lot of hurt to work through. Her main concern was why God would allow this to happen, and she felt like perhaps this compassionate coach might have something to speak to her pain and hurt.

Only seconds into the phone conversation, the coach dives into a very familiar diatribe of theology and apologetics. He took next to no time to listen to her pain and hurt. He was more concerned with getting all his conversion points out there. It had completely shut her down.

She would tell the radio show host that she was basically irritated. She had not wanted to get into the details of God's existence. She wanted to really come to understand what God might have to say to her in her situation. For an entire conversation, the coach had gone into a stream of monologues about Darwin, Hitler, logic, the Big Bang and creation. He never once took a moment to listen to what she might have had to ask. He never once took a moment to listen to her pain and her hurt.

Should would tell the radio host that it was her chance to talk to a man who believes in God and get some answers to burning questions she had been struggling with, but those questions were never heard. They were questions of grief and not of God's existence vs Big Bang.

The host tries to clarify. "So he was trying to argue with you about the existence of God instead of comforting you?"

There had been times when she said she had just about to warm up to him, and that she had some part of her that HOPED he would have been able to put the 'religious message' to her in a way that made sense to her; that "deep down I really wanted to believe again."

The host wondered whether it might have just been the WAY he went about it that he'd turned her away...

She mentions that if someone could have told her why her friend died and then relate it back to God, "I probably would have responded to that better." But they never even got to that point.

The Host says, "What if its as simple as: God takes people at different times, and that doesn't mean that God doesn't have some plan for you?"

She responds, "See! That makes more sense to me than ANYTHING he ever said."

Then the radio host said, "Well that's very sad, cuz I actually don't even believe in God.

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LISTENING TO: "The Long Fall Back To Earth" by Jars of Clay

Immanuel

2009-05-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

IMMANUEL: God with me
Immanuel: GOD with me
Immanuel: God WITH me
Immanuel: God with ME

My God, my Immanuel. May this last longer than a glimpse!
May my trust last longer than
A glimpse.

A Perversion of Justice

2009-05-01T12:08:00.001-07:00

The Suffering Servant (Isaiah 53) faces me in a strong way today. Today I am face-to-face with Jesus, and I am not comfortable. I am not okay.

I am offended and ashamed. Today I am face-to-face with Jesus the Christ who saves me through a vicarious suffering that I continue to hate. He did not suffer in anticipation of my suffering; He suffered INSTEAD OF...

That frustrates my mind and heart for different reasons; it always has.

I am frustrated with God that sins must be paid for; let alone that the payment must be death and suffering. I hate that we are made whole through pain, suffering, and death. I realize there is nothing I can do to change this reality, and that God is sovereign. I realize God's will, plan, and wisdom is far beyond me, but I simply hate it in my mind, heart, and soul.

The second reason I am frustrated by my face-to-face with Jesus today is the realization of how undeserving He was for what was done to Him. In a world and time when I realize my call to stand for the orphaned, widowed, and oppressed, I am faced with a Jesus who was oppressed, afflicted, rejected, despised, wounded, and unduly punished.

My heart has been sliced with anger at reading in Isaiah 53:8,

"By a PERVERSION OF JUSTICE he was taken away."

As Christians we have been and are being called to fight for people who are marginalized. We are to be going places our governments have not. We are to fight for justice for those who cannot fight for themselves; the afflicted, oppressed, wounded, rejected, and despised.

Today I am face-to-face with Jesus, who was made an effect of a "perversion of justice". I am angry and uncomfortable.

I am ashamed that this perversion of justice was enacted on Jesus instead of me.

ME who deserves punishment INSTEAD OF a man who had committed no violence or deceit.

ME who has been guilty of numerous things INSTEAD OF one who even people of no faith recognize as wonderful, respectful, and beautiful.

My faith and righteousness is a perversion of justice, and I am angrily grateful to Jesus for it.

* May 1 marks the beginning of "30 Days w/Jesus"; a 30-day reading plan Tonya and I are embarking on with a few other people. If you are interested and would like to embark on this journey with us, let me know or go to http://www.tniv.com/Experience%20it/docs/plan_jesus_30.pdf

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LISTENING TO: Common Market (self-titled)

Revert to Foolishness

2009-04-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

A story about Francis of Assisi goes like this:
Two men came to him with interest in joining his order. So Francis brought them both out to the garden and asked them to help prepare the garden for the friars' meals. He asked that the two men plant and work the garden as he did. He then planted a few cabbages upside down with the roots up and leaves down. One of the men went about his work reflecting Francis' odd styling. The other was critical at first before simply becoming resentful. "This simply is not the way you do this." He refused to imitate Francis' planting methods because they were foolish and a waste of time.

Francis said to him, "Brother, I see that you are a great master. Go your way! For a simple and humble Order does not need such masters, but rather simple and foolish persons."

This makes me think of a few people who were foolish and nearly mad in comparison to those who determine what should be 'normal' and 'acceptable'. I think of names like Francis of Assisi. Then I think of people like Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. But I, of course, think of Jesus.

Jesus continually lived in ways seen as blasphemous, looney, and impure to everyone else. Jesus would do something which may be the most foolish and crazy thing ever. He dies a horrific death that would 'save' countless people from sin and disconnection from his Father God. That is crazy!!!!

But Paul also reminds us that faith in Jesus will be foolishness to the Greeks and those without the Spirit.

I think of Jesus reminding us in Matthew 18 that unless we embrace some level of foolishness, Heaven will be filed with five-year-olds.

In Matthew 11, he thanks God for hiding things from the master know-it-alls and revealing himself to the little and foolish children.

I want to know how to see God's true wisdom. I want to really experience the love, grace, and reality of God. But I have to come with a level of foolishness I am rarely willing to revert to.

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LISTENING TO: "Mean Everything to Nothing" by Manchester Orchestra

Why I'm Never At My Desk

2009-04-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

Christians in Nazi Germany were tempted to isolate themselves into their own separate society. They would create their own little refuge away from the chaos ensuing around them that must have felt and looked like the end of the Christian world. They looked to escape the society and culture around them so they could discuss among themselves the salvation story and the faith it brings.

I am not entirely sure the Christian church is much different here in 'free' America. We have set up a model not only similar, but in light of our freedom may be further isolated than that of the Christian Church in Nazi Germany.

There is no overlooking the way our society and culture is heading in a rapid fashion. There is no debating that we live NOW in a post-Christian, postmodern society and culture. There is no need to deny or fight it.

But is our post-Christian culture much different than the PRE-Christian world?

More importantly, how will we respond? More importantly still, how did Jesus respond when the world around him created enemies of God? Did Jesus gather together in a cluster of Christians that were safe for the whole family? Did Jesus go about spending all of his efforts and time to create his own little 'holy huddle' of safe Christians who were sure to agree with him? (even his disciples would one day abandon him)

It seemed Jesus was more intent on NOT secluding himself from society, culture, and enemies of God. You constantly saw Jesus in the midst of his enemies. I mean after all, that was what he came here to do. He had a mission to fulfill.

He did not spend his time behind the desk with all the religious people who were in agreement with him unless of course the 'religious' people were not in agreement with him; he spend time with them. Jesus was with and amidst his greatest enemies.

What's more, Jesus had a crazy way of bringing peace to the lives of those who were enemies of God.

What are we doing!!

Christians! What are we doing in our own little clusters? We are commanded with MISSIONAL LIVES!!!

What is missional about our indoor programs? What is missional about our Christian music and various other things we share?

How missional are our 'evangelical events' at which 98-99% of the attenders are already saved?

Why are we locking our pastors in their offices doing paper work and programs? (Granted, many pastors lock up themselves.)

Martin Luther said it bluntly and well:
"O you blasphemers and betrayers of Christ! If Christ had done what you are doing, who would ever have been saved?"

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LISTENING TO: Disappointed by Candy (self-titled album)

And yet...

2009-04-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

God, my Savior, my High Priest, I am in desperate need of atonement. I am continually in need of your mercy and your grace and your atonement. Each week you give me another opportunity to speak to your people. To shepherd. To pastor. I have no idea why! Nothing about me is worthy of filling any of these roles. Most of the time I wonder whether I really am qualified to do what you have allowed me to do.

Undeserving; that is a given.
Unqualified; that I am learning all the time with each opportunity you give me.

Your grace and mercy abounds in so many ways in my life; one of which is the fact you continue to open doors to speak to and care for your people. When I am so desperately in need of your grace, your atonement, your forgiveness. I need a high priest who not only knows my sin and struggle but who is also capable of canceling and forgetting it all so I can actually come closer to you. Daily I am reminded of just how depraved I really am.

Nothing about me makes me any better than anyone else. In fact, anything about me, the worst of sinners, makes me incredibly worse than anyone else.

And yet...

Those two words could sum up so much of my life.

And yet...

There are so many things, if left to myself, make me so much worse than anyone else, AND YET you forgive, forget, make clean, and use me to love your people; your church. I cannot believe it. I scarce can take it in.

Woe is me, a man unclean!

And yet...all this...

I can only respond in gratitude, because there is nothing else I could offer to repay you for all my "and yet..."

Thank you for your love, your mercy, your grace.
Thank you for the atonement.
Thank you for being bigger than me and being willing to use me with my inadequacies and undeserved "and yet..."

- St. PC of the Undeserving

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LISTENING TO: "100 Days, 100 Nights" by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings

Notes from "American Church in Crisis" Lecture

2009-04-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night I went to a lecture from Dave Olsen, the author or "American Church in Crisis". Here are my notes from that evening. (I would be VERY INTERESTED in your thoughts.)

DECAY - every organic entity diminishes and decays over time --> decay is often necessary for new growth to occur and appear
17% of population attending church on a given weekend (9% at evangelical churches)
Weekend attendance has stayed virtually the same over the last 16 years --> but our population has grown by the same number --> churches are not keeping up with population growth
There are always new people coming into our sphere of influence.
Young people are the critical group to reach --> churches who cannot reach them will steadily decline
We are in a decaying trend, and if focus or change doesn't happen, the trend will continue.
Christian ministry will get more challenging every year into the foreseeable future, which means ministry has to be better each year
Asian and Hispanic population grown is HUGE in Sacramento county in the last 7 years
Lowest evangelical attendance counties in CA are all (1-10) bay area counties in NORTHERN California
HIGHEST evangelical attendance counties in California are almost all inland (3- Placer 5-Kern 6-Sacramento)
86% of your neighbors are NOT going to a Christian church --> but Sacramento shows a high receptivity to the gospel
A lot less established religion and more and more "American" religiosity

FOREVER BUILDING
the only way to figure out what works is to experiment...maybe fail, yes...but nothing happens if nothing is done
Two important questions your church should ask --> 1. Are we willing to pay the price of change? 2. Are we willing to create new pathways for the work of God to advance --> old pathways aren't working anymore
Why are older churches declining? (40% of established churches grow and 60% decline)
Will your church grow or decline this year?
If your church is old, it needs to think and act young.
Each year, your church grows a year older and loses its vitality if new choices are not being made to be, think, and act younger....EACH YEAR
SMALL (growing) churches have the advantage of intimacy --> LARGE mega churches have the advantage of ministry excellence --> MID-SIZED churches have to do BOTH better (connect pepople...do fewer things better)

RESTORATION
Decay happens without us doing anything --> Building takes energy and work --> Restoration happens divinely...it has to come from the Holy Spirit
With change comes loss --> with loss comes fear
Our culture is NOW (not becoming but IS): Post-Christian, Postmodern, and Multiethnic
The two important words for established churches: HEALTHY and MISSIONAL
We got used to talking about Jesus in a secondhand manner --> we have to begin talking about Jesus in a real, engaging, FIRSTHAND manner
Speak of Jesus in fresh alive ways of his words and his actions

I would be VERY INTERESTED in your thoughts. These are notes on the lecture; not entirely my personal thoughts.

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LISTENING TO: "...And The Summer Pool Party" by Pigeon John

your music recomendations

2009-04-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

Here is my present list of music I'm going to give a try. If you listen to any of this, give me your thoughts. You may also give me some recommendations if you describe your recommendations some. I realize some of these are bands I'm STILL trying out and others are bands some people have been listening to for years. Just let me know what you think.

Sleeping At Last
Unwed Sailor
Welcome Wagon
Page France
Matthew Perryman Jones
Greg Laswell
Bon Iver
Liars
Department of Eagles
Atmosphere
Common Market
Dagha
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
Appleseed Cast

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LISTENING TO: "The Singer" by Teitur

Facebook Church

2009-04-13T14:10:00.001-07:00

WARNING: By no means am I condoning this or saying it is possible. This post is one giant question open to hopeful conversation.

In a social networking culture, I wonder if it is possible to see church happen via Facebook. When I read through Acts 2:42-47; I wonder how possible it is to do these things on Facebook with its different applications, groups, video posts, etc.

How possible (or impossible), on Facebook, is it to:

- hear and study the apostles' teaching
- fellowship
- break bread
- pray
- to be together with other believers with everything in common
- sell our possessions and goods and give the proceeds to those in need
- meet together
- break bread and eat together
- praise God
- see God add to our number those who are being saved

So....???? What say you?

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LISTENING TO: "Deliverance" by Quietdrive

Christians Ain't That Great

2009-04-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

Spoke with a friend last night who informed me some common friends of ours are splitting up. This was a couple I had really admired. I admired them for their faith and their lifestyle of faith which looked so different and more engaging than most Christians I can recall knowing.

My friend and I continued talking about how surprised Christians are to discover things like divorce happen to even them. We are almost blindsided more by the fact it is even POSSIBLE for Christian couples to get to a point where divorce happens.

I began to think further on WHY that is.

I think it has something to do with the fact that Christians forget that they hold themselves to a higher...er...a DIFFERENT moral standard, but that far from makes them morally superior.

There is a common perception among Christians, false though it may be, that becoming a Christian brings them innate morality that exceeds that of non-Christians.

It is for this reason a common frustration non-Christians have with Christians is that "they think they are better than everyone else." We absolutely do!

Now matter how many 'Not Perfect; Just Forgiven' bumperstickers you put on your car, we cannot overlook the fact we have come to be convinced we are innately more moral than those without Christ.

Granted, we are a new creation, but we are not a perfect creation. We are still a new creation living in the same humanity that is prone to temptation, sin, and failure. All the more reason to stand firm in our faith, yes! But all the more reason to remember the commonality of fallen humanity we still share with Christian and non-Christian alike.

All the more reason God's mercy and grace should become more of our presentation.

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LISTENING TO: "Only By The Night" by Kings of Leon

Too Much Too Little

2009-04-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

My time in Scripture this morning has been quite rich and yet poor. It has been quite telling of my heart and a challenge, once again, to my way of living. Here are a few notes from my time.

EXODOUS 35:4-29
Everyone's heart who was willing, gave. There is a question of my heart and my WILLINGNESS to give of my plenty and my skills and talents. The question is less about whether I will DO it and more about whether my HEART actually desires to.

2 CORINTHIANS 8:1-15
This may be the strongest point at which my heart was truly stricken. There is a great focus on generosity, but I cannot get past verses 13-15:

"but it is a question of a fair balance between your present abundance and their need, so that their abundance may be for your need, in order that there may be fair balance. As it is written, 'The one who had much did not have too much, and the one who had little did not have too little."

I cannot argue with the bluntness of scripture here as it relates to my considerable plenty compared to the poverty of the world. It is also a personal affront to how I spend my money. What am I wearing, and where does it come from? Is it made and traded in fair ways or in ways which more than demean but actually oppress the poor? What about the coffee I drink? The money I spend reflects my value or devalue of the poor and of God's command on my heart.

"The one with much did not have too much, and the one with little did not have too little."

PHILIPPIANS 4:10-23
vs 11-12: "Not that I am referring to being in need; for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little and I know what it is to have plenty."

As a child of single mom who had to live and raise her boys for a portion of life with food stamps and welfare, I also know what it is to have little, and I know what it is now to have plenty, but the question really is, "Have I LEARNED to be content in WHATEVER I have?"

LISTENING TO: "Hold Time" by M. Ward

Generational Apostasy

2009-03-31T16:44:00.000-07:00

This is a magazine article that was to be but will not...so before it disappears, I thought I'd post it here...

Hurtful church management caused a dissipation of the prominent ministry for college and young adults for which I was once on staff. My closest friends worked on staff with me, and they were dynamic ministry leaders. Upon the dissolve of the successful ministry, nearly all of them left never to reconnect again to a church body.

Granted, they had been burned badly by a poorly mishandled and hurtful process, but my heart breaks with the conversations to follow. There have been frequent references to their ‘reevaluation’ of the faith they have held for many years. These were the passionate and successful leaders for a demographic few churches understand how to reach.

Apostasy is at its most rampant in our culture today. Countless college students and young professionals walk away from their faith if they ever had it at all. Irrespective of our culture’s shift in this direction, we desire to live our life with others, but our desires are increasingly unmet in a culture, which grows more and more isolated.

With inclusive terminology, Hebrews 10:19-25 reminds us that Christians are NOT individuals; we are part of a community, a Church, a family, a group. We cannot be alone. We connect with God together. We hold unswervingly to the hope we profess.

The writer warns against apostasy, which is the deliberate departure from anything you have believed. Afraid they will walk away, he does not incite them to fight a solitary battle but a rallying hold to the hope they have always known.

The primary reason college students and young adults walk away from their faith is because they isolate themselves from the “us” of Hebrews and attempt to go it alone. We have to ask ourselves if it matters to us? This apostasy among college students is a result of our isolation.

What is more, we cannot allow people to isolate themselves. This has to mean more than talking to the lonesome person on a given Sunday. It means we recognize when someone has not been around for a while, and it concerns us. There is a constant ebb and flow to college and young adult ministry. You may float at about 60 people each night you gather, but you will generally see 1-5 first-time visitors each week. Are we concerned?

We are to ‘spur one another on’ and ‘not to give up meeting together as some are in the practice of doing’. The word ‘spur’ implies a sense of incitement and provoking. The challenge not to give up meeting together is not to forsake or abandon meeting together. The writer knows danger when he sees it, because when people walk away from connection with others, they almost inevitably walk away from faith.

The Church is in persecution in Hebrews, and these clusters of believers met together regularly exciting each other to keep hold of their faith and not to give up. Even in persecution they stood together to encourage one another to hold on to their faith. These were small groups, which grow more and more important in our church culture today, but they must begin to be recognized as utterly vital. It is time we begin recognizing the isolation of our culture for the critical faith pandemic it is. It cannot be okay to watch individuals isolate themselves from our communities, churches, and small groups.

Countless college students and young adults are walking away from their faith in your city because they are not connected to a group of people who care about them enough to spur them on, saying, “Please do not give up!”

My heart breaks at this reality, and it is my hope we would all begin to share this concern.

LISTENING TO: "Casually Smashed to Pieces" by The Six Parts Seven

Third Servant Church

2009-03-30T15:02:00.000-07:00

The Church is full of third person servants. When you read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, you typically realize that everything we have been given is a gift. We should use those things to further the kingdom. We commonly think about our gifts, talents, abilities, and our money. We wonder what we could do to better use those gifts to further the kingdom of Christ. We commonly remember that we are called to be effective ministers of the gospel with the things we have been given, but there are other things we have been given than resources alone. Our God has given us hope, grace, mercy, and an outstanding love. We have been given these phenomenal gifts, and our common response to the parable is to think of our abilities, our talents, our money that, yes, IS God's. We tend to overlook other gifts like hope, mercy, grace, salvation, love. We have been entrusted with those as well, and the question is the same. What do we do with those gifts? When I look at those gifts, I see an American church nearly full of third servants. We have hoarded those things in ourselves. Every Sunday we come and bury those things in the field of our common services. We talk about those things with people who already believe what we believe. We have not taken many risks to invest those gifts for a larger return. It IS a risk to invest, but the first 2 servants take those risks and find blessing and return on those investments. They also come to see that there are so many opportunities to expand the kingdom with the gifts we have of hope, mercy, grace, love, salvation. The only way to expand the kingdom and become one of the first two servants is to take those things OUT of the burial ground of our walls and invest them in areas outside of our comfort. There are risks of fear, awkwardness, etc. But the return on those risks are incredible. LISTENING TO: "Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings" by Counting Crows

Inner Watchfulness

2009-03-27T22:12:00.000-07:00

Ozzie Chambers speaks of an "inner watchfulness" I am not entirely sure I am in frequent possession of. This may be a reference to the mind of Christ you read about in 1 Corinthians 2. Jesus had a solid sense of intimate purpose because of the Spirit within. He lived from that intimate connection he had with his Father in heaven. Though He had every right to live of Himself, he continually pointed his life and heart and Spirit to its rightful place: submitted to His Father's direction, will, and Spirit. That meant a very intentional and continual inner watchfulness to always focus and point his spirit to and on God his Father. I need a much more intentional inner watchfulness. LISTENING TO: "Youth Novel" by Lykke Li

Unlikely Disciple

2009-03-26T14:40:00.001-07:00

I am very interested in checking out this book. Anyone else?

you'll only buy booze with it...

2009-03-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

Excellent article about the conundrum we face between giving to the poor. ("Excellent article" is a link...click it)

Sticks Out

2009-03-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

Without looking, which stories in the gospels stick out to you as they have influenced your life the most? It is an interestingly telling question and approach to the gospels. The book I am reading asked the reader to think about it. I like the question because it reveals a few things. Of course it tells of your largest influences, but I think further, it also tells of which stories you remember well enough you could retell the story with adequacy and passion due to it's influence on you. It is also telling of your strongest image of Jesus, and thus, of God. It may not be the only image, but it is likely your most prominant and relational image of God. Without looking, the prodigal son pops out immediately. Then comes Mary and Martha, the adulterous woman, and then the cross. A few questions: What might these stories reveal about my prominant image of God? Why does the cross NOT come first? Shouldn't it? Without looking, which gospel stories stick out to you as the most influential on you? ------------ Currently Reading: "Praying with Francis of Assisi" by Stoutzenberger

The only privilege is no privilege: why young adults are losing faith

2009-03-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

Francis of Assisi was called to a few specific things, with one of which is something I have felt the touch of God on my life. It is recorded that Francis had heard God speak to him the words: "Francis, do you not see that my house is falling down? Repair it!" Upon that call, Francis began a lifestyle of poverty, charity, and acceptance. He had seen the house of God being torn down by its becoming rich and thus complacent. I found myself strongly connected with this part of Francis' life and calling. Granted, I still have a lot to learn from his lifestyle of poverty and relentless charity, but his specific call toward the church resonates within me. There is a similar moment in my life when God spoke into my life through another person at a moment, which would truly change my life from that moment forward. I had grown frustrated with the American Church for a slew of reasons. As I studied the gospels more, I saw less and less reflection of them in the realities of the Church today. Like many young adults today, I walked away from it. I had not lost my faith in Jesus Christ or my God. I had lost faith in his bride, the Church. I watched as the American Church became more complacent, incredibly unloving, disrespectful, and disgustingly rich. So with draining faith in the church, I left. I left for 4 and a half years of college while I was pursuing my ministry degree. I had not really figured out what I was doing getting a degree for a career in a place I had disowned. Regardless of having given up, God grabbed hold of me my 5th year of college through a statement from one person. "PC, don't you think if you are this passionate about these things, you are one who most needs to be a part of it?" There is a generation of people, many I speak with daily, who are losing faith in droves. A large majority of those are not losing faith in Jesus or their God of childhood. At the root of it is a loss of faith in the American Church, which has grown increasingly rich and privileged. Francis of Assisi once said that privilege implies power and powerlessness, haves and have nots, nobility and commoners, and that the only privilege was in in having no privileges. The Church has grown richer, more complacent, and entitled. They grow more indignant, disrespectful and horribly unloving. In that loss of faith, countless young adults are walking away. Here is my charge to all those who are walking away and giving up: Yes! The American Church is falling down. The bride of Jesus in America is dirty and broken... but is still his bride...worthy of love and it is a house in need of repair. Will you become a part of change or will you sit idly by as it continues to be torn down? -------------------- LISTENING TO: "Crane Wife" by The Decemberists

Don't worry but...

2009-03-18T12:04:00.000-07:00

We generally read Matthew 6:25-34 and say, "Don't worry!" We get frustrated at how difficult that is to do. The difficulty lies in overlooking vs 33 which tells us, "But strive first for the kingdom of God." If I am stricken with worry it is because I am not striving. ------------ Currently Reading: "Praying with Francis of Assisi" by Stoutzenberger

Creativity

2009-03-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

Creativity is not inspired by new ideas it is obsessively frustrated with the idea that already exists. -------------- Listening to: "A Hundred Million Suns" by Snow Patrol

Ragamuffin Ramblings Move

2009-03-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

I am shutting down xanga and wordpress to condense my posting and re-posting efforts each time I blog. I hope you have found your way here. Welcome! Follow, rss, subscribe, bookmark this site. Your best way to hear from me and what I have going on.